Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
