he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
