he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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