saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
the liver wants what the liver wants
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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