just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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