These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
