I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
