I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
