just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
