She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
