then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
