why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
