and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
