I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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