Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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