I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
