I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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