I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
