idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
