Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
