So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When are your genitals available?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
