Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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