I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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