Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
