Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
