brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
