Betty ford says i'm here all night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
