Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
