dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
