it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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