if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
