idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
