you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
