I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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