I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
