Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
