Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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