So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
