Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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