wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
