Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
