Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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