I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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