Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
