Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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