I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
