no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
