This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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