Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
