hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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