she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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