I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
