So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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