People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
